OK, OK! Let's break down the deluge of things wrong with this cover. We'll start off with the less obvious machinations: Peter Andre's head. Never pleasant. As for the story, it's the very pressing news involving his date with a "stunning Scottish nanny."
Secondly, it seems Chantelle off Big Brother and the muscle enthusiast from UK Crimewatch have decided they are nothing without each other, so have made the tentative step towards bringing a child into the world. And don't they both look thrilled about it, all trussed up in a Mr. Darcy Takes a Dolly Bird sorta way.
Christ, I just noticed Jordan's lurking at the top right. As for her "bitter battle" with bona fide TV personality Katie Piper, gis a break. All they share is a first name and a time slot. Piper has more class in her little finger than Price has in her entire being, all past implants included.
Right, on to the main subject at hand. And there I thought the Twit Pic of her belly was a bit much... A rather audible "EWWWWWW" was emitted in the local Spar when I clocked it. Here is Mariah Carey getting her bare breasts aggressively cupped by her husband. Demi Moore's 1992 cover of Vanity Fair, it is not. Then again, perhaps the aggressive cuppage is a necessity... Prior to the pregnancy, they did have the tendency to flail akimbo, like a pair of wayward elbows. They could be like a set of splayed legs at this stage, who knows. Although limbs in a state of squat is probably just springing to mind given the headline: "I WISH MY BABIES WOULD GET OFF MY BLADDER!"
Think that's the worst of it? Nope. Check out the mark up in price. "Only £1.49" in the UK. €2.29 here. Even with the exchange rate, that mark up is stomach churning...
Also shouting at me from the newspaper stand in the local Spar... The Evening Herald. Something about Tubridy moving to the Beeb.
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